Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC
Holistic Anxiety, Trauma, and Attachment Therapist in Los Angeles
Anxiety Therapy in Los Angeles: The Roots of People Pleasing and How to Break Free
Ever feel like you’re always putting everyone else’s needs before your own, even when it leaves you completely DRAINED? If so, welcome to the not-so-glamorous club of “people pleasers.” Why do we do this? Well, the reasons are layered, from our brain’s need for approval to how we were raised. Therapy can help you figure out “why you are the way you are” and teach you how to put yourself first – without feeling guilty.
Wondering why you people-please and how therapy can help? Let’s break it down together. Book your free consultation today and start the journey to a more balanced life. In our sessions, you’ll learn why you people-please and get practical tips to set healthy boundaries. Let’s work together to make you a priority and create lasting change.
What Causes People Pleasing?
Why We Become People Pleasers
First off, let’s figure out why you might be stuck in this people-pleasing loop. It often starts with anxiety, trauma, or how we were raised. Maybe you learned that being “the good kid” kept everyone happy and got you praise. This need to make others happy becomes a habit to avoid conflict or get approval.
The Impact of Childhood Experiences
Over time, these habits become second nature, even if they’re bad for you. Maybe your parents were emotionally checked out, and being super accommodating was the only way to get their attention. This might’ve worked as a kid, but now it just causes stress and anxiety. If you keep doing this, you end up constantly looking for approval and ignoring your own needs.
Addressing People-Pleasing Through Anxiety Therapy in Los Angeles
Ready to stop the madness? In therapy, we’ll dig into why you people-please and come up with strategies to set boundaries and put yourself first. Let’s get you to a place where you can take care of yourself and still be the awesome, caring person you are.
People Pleasing Anxiety: The Anxiety Connection
How Anxiety Fuels People-Pleasing Behavior
Living in Los Angeles, a city surrounded by people who seem to have their lives perfectly together, can seriously crank up your anxiety. Everyone’s a go-getter or an overachiever, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of people-pleasing just to keep up. Anxiety therapy in LA can help you unravel these patterns and give you the tools to manage your anxiety better.
The Vicious Cycle of Anxiety and People-Pleasing
Anxiety often drives us to please others as a way to avoid conflict and reduce stress. You might find yourself saying yes to everything, hoping it will calm your anxiety. But let’s be real, this often backfires. The more you try to please others, the more anxious you get. And the more anxious you get, the more you try to please others. It’s a vicious cycle that leads to burnout, resentment, and constant overwhelm.
Finding Relief Through Anxiety Therapy in Los Angeles
Through targeted anxiety therapy, we can tackle the root causes of your anxiety and understand how it fuels your people-pleasing habits. We’ll work on strategies to manage your anxiety, set healthy boundaries, and put your own well-being first. It’s about breaking the cycle and finding a balance that allows you to be true to yourself without always seeking approval from others.
People Pleasing Trauma
The Role of Trauma and Attachment in People-Pleasing
People-pleasing often ties back to past trauma and attachment patterns. Maybe you grew up in a home where your emotional needs weren’t met, so you learned to please others to gain love and approval. This is especially true if you’ve experienced complex trauma (CPTSD) involving repeated traumatic events over time.
How Attachment Styles Influence Behavior
Your attachment style, developed in childhood, plays a big role in how you relate to others. If you have an insecure attachment, you might people-please to keep relationships and avoid abandonment. Through attachment therapy, we can explore these patterns and work towards developing a more secure attachment style. Understanding your attachment style can explain why you feel the need to please others and help you build healthier relationships.
Break Free By Working With an Anxiety Therapist in LA
Practical Steps to Manage Anxiety and Reduce People-Pleasing
Identify Your Triggers
Ever feel like anxiety sneaks up on you out of nowhere? It’s time to play detective. Keep a journal and jot down the situations that crank up your anxiety. You’ll start to see patterns, and knowing your triggers is the first step to tackling them head-on.
Set Clear Boundaries
Learning to say no without guilt is a game-changer. Start small—practice saying no in low-stakes situations. It’s like building a muscle. Setting boundaries is crucial for your mental health and helps ensure your needs are met.
Practice Self-Care
Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s survival. Prioritize activities that help you relax and recharge. Whether it’s a walk in nature, practicing mindfulness, or indulging in a hobby you love, make time for what makes you feel good.
Seek Professional Help
Therapy is a safe space to explore your patterns and get the support you need. If you’re in Los Angeles, consider exploring options for anxiety therapy, trauma therapy, or attachment therapy. Working with a therapist can provide you with the tools to manage anxiety and reduce people-pleasing behaviors.
INSIGHTS FROM AN ANXIETY THERAPIST IN LOS ANGELES
How Somatic Therapy in Los Angeles Can Help
The Mind-Body Connection
Here’s where somatic therapy in Los Angeles comes into play. This approach focuses on the mind-body connection, which is crucial for people-pleasers who often experience physical symptoms as a result of their behaviors. People-pleasing isn’t just a mental game – it’s a physical one too. You might feel tension in your shoulders, a knot in your stomach, or even headaches from constantly trying to keep everyone happy. These physical manifestations of stress and anxiety are your body’s way of signaling that something needs to change.
How Somatic Therapy Works
Somatic therapy helps you tune into these physical sensations and learn how to release them. It’s about recognizing where you hold stress in your body and using techniques to alleviate it. This might involve breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindful movement practices. By addressing the physical aspect of your anxiety, somatic therapy provides a holistic approach to healing that integrates the body and mind.
Benefits of Somatic Therapy for People-Pleasers
For people-pleasers, somatic therapy offers a unique way to understand and manage the physical impact of their behaviors. By learning to listen to and respect your body’s signals, you can develop healthier boundaries and start prioritizing your own needs. This approach not only reduces physical symptoms of anxiety but also helps you build a stronger connection with your own emotional and physical well-being.
Holistic Therapy in Los Angeles
Holistic Therapy: A Comprehensive Approach for People-Pleasers
What is Holistic Therapy?
Holistic therapy is all about looking at the whole person, NOT just isolated symptoms. You’re not just a bundle of anxiety and people-pleasing habits. You’re a complex individual with unique needs and experiences. This therapy approach integrates various methods, from mindfulness to lifestyle changes, to help you find balance and authenticity. By addressing all aspects of your life—mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual—holistic therapy aims to promote overall well-being.
How Holistic Therapy Helps People-Pleasers
People-pleasers often struggle with balancing their own needs with the demands of others. Holistic therapy helps you create a more balanced life by incorporating practices that nourish all parts of your being. This might include mindfulness exercises to stay present, nutritional advice to support physical health, and techniques to manage stress and anxiety. By taking a comprehensive approach, holistic therapy empowers you to make changes that support your overall health and happiness.
The Benefits of a Holistic Approach
A holistic approach ensures that all aspects of your life are considered in your healing journey. This can lead to more sustainable and meaningful changes. By integrating different therapeutic practices, you can address the root causes of your people-pleasing behaviors and develop healthier, more balanced ways of living. Holistic therapy can be super effective for those who feel overwhelmed by the need to please others, providing a path to a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Internal Family Systems Therapy in Los Angeles
Discovering Your True Self with IFS Therapy in Los Angeles
What is IFS Therapy?
Now, let’s dive into IFS therapy in Los Angeles. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy helps you understand the different parts of yourself. Think of it as getting to know your internal committee (kind of like in the movie Inside Out). There’s the people-pleaser, the perfectionist, and maybe even the rebel who’s tired of saying yes all the time. By understanding these parts, you can learn to give each one a voice, leading to a more balanced and authentic you.
How IFS Therapy Works
IFS therapy involves identifying and understanding the different parts of your personality that influence your behavior. This might include the part of you that seeks approval from others, the part that fears rejection, and the part that wants to rebel. By giving each part a voice, you can understand their motivations and work towards integrating them in a way that supports your overall well-being.
Benefits of IFS Therapy for People-Pleasers
For people-pleasers, IFS therapy offers a way to understand and manage the different parts of yourself that contribute to this behavior. By recognizing and addressing these parts, you can develop a more balanced and authentic way of relating to others. This approach not only helps you reduce people-pleasing behaviors but also empowers you to embrace your true self.
Your Guide to Breaking Free from People-Pleasing
About Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC
Hi, I’m Cheryl Groskopf, an anxiety, trauma, and attachment therapist based in Los Angeles. I help individuals like you break free from the exhausting cycle of people-pleasing and perfectionism. My approach is direct, engaging, and empathetic, with a touch of humor to keep things real and relatable.
My Journey to Becoming a Therapist
I’ve always been fascinated by human behavior and the impact our early experiences have on our adult lives. This curiosity led me to specialize in anxiety, trauma, and attachment therapy. Through my work, I’ve seen how these factors can drive people-pleasing behaviors and perfectionist tendencies, making life feel like an endless race for approval.
My Approach to Therapy
My therapeutic approach is holistic, integrating somatic therapy, IFS therapy, and holistic therapy. I believe in addressing the whole person—mind, body, and spirit—to help you find balance and authenticity. Whether we’re exploring your physical responses to stress through somatic therapy or understanding the different parts of your personality with IFS therapy, my goal is to provide a comprehensive and personalized approach to your healing journey.
Ready To Begin?
Why I Work with People-Pleasers and Perfectionists
I have a special place in my heart for people-pleasers and perfectionists. I understand the pressure to keep everyone happy while maintaining an image of perfection. It’s a heavy burden to carry, and I’m here to help you lighten that load. My therapy sessions are a safe space where you can explore these behaviors without judgment and learn healthier ways to interact with the world.
What You Can Expect from Working with Me
Working with me, you can expect a collaborative and proactive approach to therapy. I’m here to help you uncover the roots of your anxiety and people-pleasing tendencies, develop practical strategies for change, and support you in setting boundaries that honor your true self. Together, we’ll work towards breaking free from the patterns that no longer serve you, so you can live a life that feels authentic and fulfilling.
If you’re ready to start this journey, I’m currently accepting new clients. Let’s work together to help you reclaim your time, energy, and peace of mind. Reach out today for a consultation, and let’s uncover the real you, one step at a time.
Are You Ready to Start?
Breaking free from people-pleasing isn’t about becoming selfish! It’s about reclaiming your time, energy, and peace of mind. Therapy can guide you on this journey, helping you understand and transform these ingrained habits. So, if you’re ready to stop bending over backward for everyone else and start living for yourself, let’s talk. After all, life’s too short to be lived on anyone else’s terms but your own.
If this resonates with you, reach out for a consultation. Let’s uncover the real you, one step at a time.
People Pleasing Books
“The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome” by Harriet B. Braiker
“Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself” by Melody Beattie
“When Pleasing You Is Killing Me” by Les Carter
“The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships” by Randy J. Paterson
“Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
