Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC
Holistic Anxiety, Trauma, and Attachment Therapist in Los Angeles
Can trauma impact attachment styles?
Absolutely! I actually have soooo much to share in this blog that I had to split it into two parts! In this post, I’ll share my thoughts on how trauma impacts the way that we relate to others. We’re talking everything from feeling constantly on edge in your relationships to struggling with trust. But it’s not all heavy stuff – I’m also here to shine a light on the path toward healing.
You can check out Part II of this blog by clicking here!
The Hidden Impact of Trauma in Los Angeles
Hyper-Vigilance in Relationships
Ever feel like you’re on constant high alert in your relationships? Always waiting for the other shoe to drop? That, my friends, is hyper-vigilance – and it’s a classic sign of how trauma can impact your attachment style. Here in Los Angeles, this kind of relationship anxiety isn’t just common; it’s practically a lifestyle for some.
As an therapist specializing in attachment attachment styles, I see this all the time. Trauma, especially from early life experiences, can set you up to be constantly on guard. It’s like your brain’s constantly scanning for threats, even when you’re in situations that are supposed to be safe and loving. Imagine trying to enjoy a romantic dinner, but instead of focusing on your partner, your mind’s busy analyzing every word, every gesture, and looking for signs of danger. Exhausting, isn’t it?
This hyper-vigilance isn’t just stressful, it can be straight up disruptive. It can throw a wrench in your ability to form deep, secure attachments due to constantly playing detective instead of being present in the relationship. It’s a defense mechanism, sure, but it’s also a barrier – one that keeps you from experiencing the kind of nurturing, trusting connections you deserve.
But here’s the good news: recognizing this pattern is the first step toward change. As a trauma therapist working in Los Angeles, I’ve helped individuals understand and heal these patterns. We work together to unpack the trauma behind the hypervigilance and build new, healthier ways of relating and connecting.
trauma Therapy in Los Angeles
Disrupted Emotional Regulation
What does it feel like to have disrupted emotional regulation? It’s kind of like having an internal earthquake that nobody else feels. As an attachment therapist in LA, I’ve seen how trauma can turn emotions into a physical experience. You might find yourself swinging from zero to sixty on the emotional speedometer, and trust me, it’s as exhausting as Los Angeles traffic on a bad day (bad joke, I had to).
Picture this: one minute, you’re fine, but the next, you’re either a storm of emotions or numbness. Why? Because trauma leaves you vulnerable to extreme reactions – maybe you’re quick to anger, maybe you shut down at the slightest hint of conflict, or perhaps you’re somewhere in between, never really sure how you’ll feel from one moment to the next.
In attachment and trauma therapy, we see this a lot. It’s like your emotions are a puzzle, and trauma’s thrown away the box with the picture on it. But here’s where it gets real – this doesn’t impact your emotions, it also impacts your relationships. People around you might be walking on eggshells, unsure which version of you they’re going to get. It can make forming stable, healthy attachments feel like an impossible dream.
But here’s the silver lining: acknowledging this pattern is the first step toward working toward a secure place. As an attachment and trauma counselor based in Los Angeles, I work with people to map out these confusing emotional experiences. Together, we will find ways to bring some balance back into your life and bringing you back the control – helping you respond to your emotions instead of reacting to them.
Seeing Through Trauma's Lens: Understanding Perceptions in Relationships
Distorted perception of Safety
Ever feel like you’re wearing goggles when it comes to assessing safety and security in your relationships? The effects of trauma have a sneaky way of skewing our perception of what’s safe and what’s not. As an attachment and trauma therapist in LA, I see this distortion play out in two major ways: some may see danger lurking in every corner, while others may walk right into harmful situations without batting an eye.
Here’s the thing: trauma messes with your radar. It’s like trying to navigate the LA freeways without your phone (sorry, bad joke again, I’m on a roll).. For some individuals, their experiences have left them on perpetual high alert. Trust becomes a foreign concept, and thoughts like ‘Is this person going to hurt me? Are they going to leave?’ become a constant background track on loop.
For others, it’s the opposite. Their trauma can cause some to brush off red flags like they’re nothing. It’s not that they don’t see the danger; it’s that they’ve normalized it. ‘Oh, this? This is nothing compared to what I’ve been through.’ They might find themselves repeatedly in relationships that do more harm than good, mistaking familiarity for safety.
As a trauma and attachment counselor in Los Angeles, my role is to help “recalibrate” that safety radar. We can work together to peel off those goggles, and see things for what they really are. Trauma and attachment therapy can help you in building a new, healthier understanding of safety and trust. This isn’t about flipping a switch and ‘bam’ you’re healed – it’s a process. But it’s a worthwhile one. Because everyone deserves to have relationships where they feel safe and secure (not just relationships they’ve convinced themselves are safe).
Trauma Therapist Los Angeles: Helping Secure Attachment
Difficulty Trusting Others
Trusting others can be difficult, especially when trauma enters the picture. It’s like adding a whole new level of complexity to the equation. As an attachment therapist, I’ve seen how trauma can turn the natural body’s natural way of trying to keep us safe to full-blown shut-down mode.
Picture this: You meet someone new, and they seem great. But instead of enjoying this new connection, there’s a little voice in your head that is constantly questioning their motives, their words, their actions. ‘Can I trust them? What if they let me down?’ In this scenario, you’re not just being cautious, it’s the effects of trauma that are making you doubt every good thing that comes your way.
In therapy, I often see this lack of trust manifest in two ways – either being so guarded that no one can get close to you, or you swing the other way by blindly trusting people who don’t deserve it. As a trauma specialist in Los Angeles, I will work with you to find that middle ground and learn how to trust again (but in a way that’s healthy and balanced).
Breaking down these walls isn’t easy – I won’t sugarcoat it. But it’s absolutely possible. It involves understanding where this lack of trust stems from, acknowledging it, and then slowwwly learning how to feel more safe and secure.. We work on building your “trust” muscle, making it stronger and more resilient. If you find yourself stuck in this cycle of distrust, remember, there’s a way out. It’s all about rebuilding trust from the ground up, at your pace, and in a way that feels right for you.
trauma therapy los angeles
Over-Identifying with the Caregiver Role
Ever feel like you’re always the one giving too much in relationships, or like you’re the designated caregiver, therapist, or problem-solver? Sometimes, being the caregiver or the “responsible one” is trauma’s sneaky way of keeping you safe ( or so it thinks). As an attachment and trauma therapist in LA, I see this often: individuals so focused on taking care of others that they forget to take care of themselves.
This isn’t just about going the extra mile. It’s deeper than that. Trauma can leave you feeling like your worth is tied to how much you do for others. It’s like you’re constantly trying to earn your place and prove your value. But let’s be real – this is exhausting and, frankly, not sustainable. It often leads to one-sided relationships where your needs get pushed to the side.
In attachment and trauma therapy, we tackle this head-on. We look at why you feel compelled to always be the caregiver, and how this might be a response to past experiences. In sessions, we’ll work on shifting that focus back to you. It’s about finding balance, learning to set boundaries, and understanding that it’s okay (and necessary!) to have needs – and to actually have them met. So, if you find yourself always playing the caregiver at the cost of your own well-being, just remember: you’re not alone in this. Together, we can work on building a relationship style where you’re not just the giver of love, but also a receiver.
Want to learn more? Check out Part II of this blog here!
Connect with an Attachment & Trauma Therapist in Los Angeles
Meet Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC
Hi! I’m Cheryl. Start a transformative journey with an attachment therapist in Los Angeles. I specialize trauma, anxiety, and recognizing the influence between early connections, trauma and present-day emotional well-being.
Feeling a connection with what we’ve explored today? If you’re ready to dive deeper and transform these insights into a path for healing, I’m here for you. Let’s take these insights off the page and into your life. Click here learn more, or book a free consultation with me. Together, we can reshape those patterns into healthier, more fulfilling ways of relating to others.
- Recognizing trauma and attachment patterns is the first step towards meaningful change. Stay tuned for Part II, where I’ll dive into 5 more ways trauma influences our attachment styles. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. As an attachment and trauma therapist in Los Angeles, I'm committed to helping you navigate these patterns toward a place of healing.
I offer free 15-minute consultations to help determine if it’s a good fit – I’ll let you know how or if I can help.
Additional Resources: Free Or Low-Cost Mental Health Resources In los angeles
Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health (LACDMH):
- Provides a range of mental health services, including trauma and attachment therapy.
- Website: dmh.lacounty.gov
The Southern California Counseling Center (SCCC):
- Offers low-cost counseling services, including trauma-focused therapies.
- Website: sccc-la.org
Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services:
- Provides mental health, substance use, and suicide prevention services.
- Website: didihirsch.org
The Maple Counseling Center (TMCC):
- Offers low-cost individual and group counseling services.
- Website: tmcc.org
Wellnest (Formerly Los Angeles Child Guidance Clinic):
- Provides emotional and mental health services for children and families.
- Website: wellnestla.org
