Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC
Holistic Anxiety, Trauma, and Attachment Therapist in Los Angeles
Therapist in Los Angeles Answers:
6 Reasons Adults Get Bored
“Why Am I So Bored?”
We all feel bored sometimes. But is boredom a bad thing? Does being bored actually mean that we’re boring? Continue reading to learn more about this emotion, why we get bored as adults, and how to overcome boredom. If you feel you need a little more help, read how trauma therapy in Los Angeles can help ease anxiety (and apathy) surrounding this unique emotion.
6 Reasons Adults Feel Bored in LA
1. Ongoing Responsibilities of Adulting
Being an adult comes with never ending tasks and responsibilities. Work, chores, running to Target for toothpaste, financial pressures, obligations, the list goes on and onnnnn. These demands can lead to a repetitive cycle that lacks stimulation, causing feelings of monotony and emptiness.
2. Losing Our Sense of Play & Curiosity
Many of us have forgot how to connect with the playful, adventurous, and curious part of ourselves. As adults, we often need to priorities our responsibilities, chores, obligations, etc. The monotony of the same routine everyday can lead to a sense of autopilot, where it can be difficult to find the desire and motivation to embrace new things or be in the present moment. Lack of stimulation can dull the senses and contribute to feelings of stagnation (as we mentioned earlier). Incorporating small changes or setting achievable goals can introduce novelty and play on one’s outlook on life.
3. The Bullsh*t of Social Media
We’ve all fallen prey to the autopilot action of constant scrolling and scrolling on social media. Mindlessly picking up our phone and suddenly 20 minutes go by. Let’s be real: social media is boring. It’s a passive activity that gives the brain enough dopamine to feel stimulated to keep coming back to, but it contributes to overall feelings of dullness and boredom.
4. Passive Engagement with Technology
Speaking of mindlessness, let’s not forget the passive activity of watching Netflix. There was once a point in the beginning of Covid where mindlessly and passively watching TV helped keep us from getting bored (remember the Tiger King days?). But for some, constant binge watching has become a normal part of their routine. After work, it’s dinner, dishes binge watching something that’s probably not that amazing, then sleep.
5. Feeling Disconnected From Yourself Can Increase Boredom
Disconnect from Personal Passions and Hobbies
It’s common for adults to gradually lose touch with their personal passions and hobbies due to time constraints or shifting priorities. Neglecting activities that once brought joy can contribute to a lack of fulfillment. Reconnecting with past interests or exploring new hobbies can reignite the sense of purpose and provide avenues for self-expression.
6. Boredom Could Indicate Other Mental Health Factors
Boredom can also be a manifestation of underlying mental health concerns, such as depression or anxiety. These conditions can impact motivation, and often mimic the symptoms of depression. Seeking professional support, such as therapy, can help individuals address these root causes and develop effective strategies to combat boredom.
Recognizing the purpose behind adult boredom is the first step toward overcoming this it. By understanding the complexity of being an adult, stimulating your 5 senses, managing technology engagement, reconnecting with personal passions, and addressing any underlying mental health factors, individuals can find fulfillment in their daily lives. As a holistic therapist in Los Angeles, I provide a range of therapeutic strategies to help individuals combat boredom and cultivate a more purposeful and satisfying existence.
How We Perceive Boredom
Boredom kind of has a bad rap. It brings me back to the 90s, with the classic line from Harvey Danger: “But if you’re bored, then you’re boring.” As an adult, if you say that you’re bored, it’s often met with disbelief or even envy. “OMG, I wish I could be bored, but I don’t have the time!” But let me assure you…boredom does not mean “just having too much time on your hands.”
We’ve all experienced boredom at some point. Even when life is busy with not a moment to spare, we could feel bored with the monotonous and mundane “hustle and bustle” of our day. We could be bored when we long to do something else or wanting something else in our lives. In essence, we could be bored with being busy. We could be bored with having too much or too little to do. But how often do we talk about what boredom is, and what the purpose of boredom is?
What is Boredom?
Boredom is a signal that is sent to our mind and body that we are stagnant. Being stagnant isn’t just, “Oh, I’m feeling lazy and blah” or becoming one with the couch. Stagnancy is a direct threat to our health – and a direct threat to our evolution as a species. When we are stagnant, energy gets trapped in our bodies. This causes a multitude of health issues such as chronic fatigue, inflammation, and autoimmune disorders. Plus, stagnancy can lead to depression and/or anxiety, which can further impact physical and mental symptoms.
With depression, it can become very difficult to get outside of the house to go on a walk; the idea of working out can seem impossible. If we don’t exercise and move, it’s “bad news bears” for our bodies. When we look at the huge domino effect that stagnancy could have on 1 single person, it can make it easier to see the purpose and function of boredom.
We better thank our lucky stars that boredom exists because without it…we might not have lasted very long as a species.
The Purpose of Boredom
Boredom (like all our emotions) helps our survival as a species. Boredom is an indication that something in your routine isn’t working. This can help boost creativity, give us time to focus on ourselves, and even help us learn new ways of coping aka surviving.
From an evolutionary perspective, boredom gave us opportunities to look for someone to mate with. In the 21st century, we can see this manifested with the hours of scrolling through dating sites likes Tinder or Instagram. The only issue is that mindlessly scrolling doesn’t help our brains. It’s just making us more bored.
Trauma Therapist Los Angeles breaks down:
3 Ways to Deal with Your Boredom
1) Recognize and honor it.
If you notice yourself feeling bored, first identify it. Ask yourself, “How do I know that I’m bored?” “Where do I feel the boredom in my body?” “What is my boredom trying to tell me?” If we identify and honor the feeling, we can learn a lot about ourselves and our needs.
2) Don’t Shame It – Reframe It!
Boredom can be an unpleasant experience. But unlike the Harvey Danger song, being bored does NOT mean that you’re boring. Shaming our boredom can just push it down deeper and deeper, becoming an “exiled” part of our internal system. Shaming = Self sabotage because pushing it deeper and deeper will just make it last longer.
Instead, reframe your boredom! Remember, our emotions are always trying to help us survive. So invite your boredom in and explore it.
3) Seek Therapy
If you notice that your boredom may be depression in disguise, it may be time to seek therapy. Perhaps you started working from home in 2020 due to Covid, and find yourself bored with the same 4 walls that you see every single day. Or maybe you’re finding it difficult to find the motivation to go on a walk or see your friends. Therapy can help you process your experience during the pandemic, and help you understand what you are experiencing today.
Connect with a Therapist in Los Angeles
Meet Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC
Hi! I’m Cheryl Groskopf, a therapist based in Los Angeles specializing in anxiety, trauma, and attachment therapy. Understanding the reasons you get bored can unlock paths to deeper fulfillment and engagement in our daily lives. If you find these insights resonate with you and you’re seeking ways to navigate through these feelings, I’d love to help. I’m here to help guide you through this exploration and towards a more engaged and meaningful life. Ready to break free from boredom and rediscover joy? Let’s get started on this journey together.
- For more insights and guidance on how to enhance your daily experience and tackle the challenges of boredom, anxiety, or any other mental health concerns, don't hesitate to reach out. Together, we can uncover the tools and strategies that work best for you.
It’s unlikely that trauma itself enhances boredom, as trauma can have a significant impact on overall mental health and well-being.
Trauma can cause and/or enhance many mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). These conditions are often associated with feelings of intense emotion rather than boredom, but they also can lead to feeling detached or dissociated. This feeling of “not being present” can look like feeling bored because of lack of interest or pleasure in doing things that used to be enjoyable – leading to a sense of apathy.
Individuals with PTSD or other trauma-related disorders (like CPTSD) may struggle with emotional regulation and disconnection from their experiences.
While trauma may not directly enhance cause, it can certainly impact how we see and relate with ourselves and the world around you.
