Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC
Holistic Anxiety, Trauma, and Attachment Therapist in Los Angeles
Attachment Through the Trauma Lens: LA Therapist on How Trauma Impacts Attachment
Today, I’ll be discussing Part II of how trauma influences attachment styles (You can check out Part I here!). And some of these unhealthy patterns often fly under the radar. In this post, I’m focusing on the more subtle yet impactful aspects of trauma (like mistaking drama for real passion or how our past experiences can change our self-perception). As a trauma and attachment therapist in Los Angeles, I have seen how these topics might not always get the spotlight, but are important for anyone looking to understand the deeper impacts of trauma. Whether you’re here for professional insights or personal curiosity, I’m glad you’re joining this journey!
Trauma Therapy Insights: Distinguishing Intimacy from Intensity in LA Relationships
Confusing Intensity for Intimacy
Oy vey. This is a big one. And I think we’re all a little guilty of it sometimes: Mistaking the whirlwind of drama for a deep connection? It’s not uncommon to confuse intensity for intimacy – especially when trauma’s in the mix. I’ve seen how trauma can trick your heart into thinking that is the same as love. Or that it’s the spark or “fireworks.” But in reality, it’s your nervous system trying to protect you from something that’s probably not good for you.
Intense arguments, rollercoaster emotions, the high highs and the low lows – they can all feel like signs of a deep passionate connection. But here’s the kicker – it’s often just trauma reenacting familiar patterns. The nervous system will always go towards what feels familiar, even if that familiar is toxic.
As a therapist who specializes in healing trauma and attachment wounds, part of what I do is help you understand your nervous system We work together to understand the difference between intensity and genuine intimacy. We’ll work together to help you understand that real connection isn’t about constant turmoil. Healthy relationships are about safety, stability, understanding, and mutual respect.
If you resonate with this, or your love life feels more like a soap opera than a healthy relationship, it might be time to take a closer look at what’s driving those choices.. Intensity DOES NOT equal intimacy. With the right support and insights, you can learn to recognize and build relationships that are based on true connection, and not just drama.
Attachment to Unresolved Past Incidents
You know how sometimes a song or a certain smell can take you right back to a moment in your past? The effects of trauma can be like that, except it’s not just a song or a smell– it can feel like an entire replay of the incidents. As a therapist who specializes in trauma and attachment in Los Angeles, I’ve seen how trauma can make you feel stuck in a time loop, how it replays the same scenes, the same mistakes, and the same heartaches.
Okay, here’s another example: It can feel as if there’s a movie projector in your mind that is stuck on repeat, showing you all the ways things went wrong. I use this example because it isn’t just about being “hung up” on the past – it’s how trauma tricks your brain into thinking that the past is the present. You might find yourself reacting to situations today based on what happened years ago. Your brain isn’t trying to trick you to be malicious – it’s trying to help you. But sometimes that warning is a little too sensitive, and goes off when it doesn’t need to.
In trauma therapy, we start to untangle these old narratives. We can work together to help you understand that while these experiences are part of your story, they don’t have to be the whole plot or define you. As a Los Angeles trauma therapist, I can help you break free from these cycles, and stop the constant looping tot living in the now. It’s not about erasing the past but about learning from it, healing from it, and then letting it be just that – the past.
Sensitivity to Rejection and Abandonment
Feeling like everyone’s going to leave you eventually? That’s not just the LA flakiness talking; it might be your trauma speaking up. Being extra sensitive to rejection and abandonment can feel like a daily burden.
Imagine you’re walking on a tightrope where every misstep, every misunderstood text, and every discomfort feels like a potential nosedive into abandonment. It’s exhausting. Every interaction gets filtered through this lens of ‘Are they going to leave me?’ or ‘What did I do wrong this time?.
In therapy, we often find this heightened fear of rejection is like a ghost from the past. Although it’s trying to serve a purpose and help you from getting hurt, it can linger and stay a little (or a lot) too long. As an attachment and trauma counselor in LA, my job is to help you readjust the sensitivity dial. We work on understanding where these fears come from, acknowledge them, and then slowly learn to trust the stability of your relationships. It’s about rewiring the narrative from ‘Everyone leaves’ to ‘I can build lasting, secure connections.’
But you’re not doomed to a life of emotional “high alerts.” With the right tools and understanding, and working with a Los Angeles Trauma Therapist, you can find balance and security.
Reclaiming Self-Identity: Trauma Therapy Perspectives on Altered Perception in Los Angeles
Altered Self-Perception
Trusting others can be difficult, especially when trauma enters the picture. It’s like adding a whole new level of complexity to the equation. As an attachment therapist, I’ve seen how trauma can turn the natural body’s natural way of trying to keep us safe to full-blown shut-down mode.
Picture this: You meet someone new, and they seem great. But instead of enjoying this new connection, there’s a little voice in your head that is constantly questioning their motives, their words, their actions. ‘Can I trust them? What if they let me down?’ In this scenario, you’re not just being cautious, it’s the effects of trauma that are making you doubt every good thing that comes your way.
In therapy, I often see this lack of trust manifest in two ways – either being so guarded that no one can get close to you, or you swing the other way by blindly trusting people who don’t deserve it. As a Los Angeles Trauma Specialist, I will work with you to find that middle ground and learn how to trust again (but in a way that’s healthy and balanced).
Breaking down these walls isn’t easy – I won’t sugarcoat it. But it’s absolutely possible. It involves understanding where this lack of trust stems from, acknowledging it, and then slowwwly learning how to feel more safe and secure.. We work on building your “trust” muscle, making it stronger and more resilient. If you find yourself stuck in this cycle of distrust, remember, there’s a way out. It’s all about rebuilding trust from the ground up, at your pace, and in a way that feels right for you.
Los Angeles Trauma Therapist
If any of these topics resonate with you, or if you’re curious on whether a past trauma impacted your attachment styles, know that you don’t have to do it alone. As a therapist specializing in healing the effects of trauma, I’m here to help you make sense of these patterns – and work towards healing and healthier relationships.
Ready to take the next step? Whether you’re seeking deeper insights into your own experiences or looking for professional support, feel free to reach out and book a consultation! Together, we can explore these themes in your life, and help you move towards a place of deeper understanding and connection. Let’s start this journey of healing together!
Connect with an Attachment & Trauma Therapist in Los Angeles
Meet Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC
Hello! I’m Cheryl Groskopf! As a trauma and attachment therapist in Los Angeles, my focus is on helping you navigate through the complexities of trauma, Complex PTSD, and anxiety. I work with my clients in helping them understand how early experiences shape our current emotional state.
If you’re feeling ready to dive deeper and start a journey of transformation, I’m here to assist you every step of the way! Let’s bring these insights to life and work on them together. Click here to find out more, or to book a free 15 minute consultation with me for attachment or trauma therapy in LA. We’ll work together to transform your experiences into healthier and more rewarding ways of engaging with the world around you.
- Recognizing these patterns is a huge step towards healing and transformation. As an attachment and trauma therapist in Los Angeles, my goal is to support you navigate these challenges, and help you find a path towards deeper understanding and emotional well-being. You don’t need to navigate this journey alone – let's explore these themes together and move towards a place of greater insight and healing!
I offer free 15-minute consultations to help determine if it’s a good fit – I’ll let you know how or if I can help!
| To check out Part I of this blog, click here: Trauma Therapist Los Angeles: How Trauma Can Impact Your Attachment Style Part I.
Additional Resources: Free Or Low-Cost Mental Health Resources In los angeles
The Wright Institute Los Angeles (WILA):
Offers affordable psychotherapy and psychological assessment services.
Website: wila.org
Strength United (A part of California State University, Northridge):
Offers free counseling and support services for trauma survivors.
Website: strengthunited.org
The Center for Individual and Family Counseling (CIFC):
Provides affordable counseling services in the North Hollywood area.
Website: mycifc.com
Airport Marina Counseling Service:
Provides low-cost mental health counseling services.
Website: airportmarina.org
Share! the Self-Help And Recovery Exchange:
Offers free support groups for a variety of mental health issues, including trauma.
Website: shareselfhelp.org
