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Are you constantly bending over backwards to keep everyone happy? Ever catch yourself saying yes to things you don’t want to do, just to avoid conflict or get a bit of approval? You might be engaging in fawning, a people-pleasing behavior that’s more common than you think!
Fawning is a trauma response where you try to please others to avoid confrontation or gain approval. It’s like when you were a kid and did everything to get a gold star from the teacher, but now it’s about avoiding those uncomfortable feelings that come up in adult life. Imagine your body is on autopilot, always steering you towards keeping the peace – even if it means losing yourself in the process.
Living in LA, it’s easy to get caught up in the high expectations and social comparison. This city is BUZZING with opportunities, but it also comes with pressures that can amplify fawning behaviors. If you’re always putting others first, you might find yourself burnt out, anxious, and detached from your true self.
| Check out more about fawning and people pleasing in my article on Mindbodygreen: Is It People Pleasing or a Trauma Response? Here’s Why They’re Related, By a Therapi
Fawning is a trauma response where you go out of your way to please others to avoid conflict or gain approval. Think of it as the ultimate peacekeeping strategy. If you’ve ever felt like you had to be the perfect friend, partner, or employee just to keep everyone happy and avoid any kind of trouble, you might be familiar with fawning.
Trauma responses are ways our bodies react to stress and danger. The classic ones are fight, flight, or freeze:
Fawning is different. Instead of fighting, running, or freezing, you start people-pleasing. It’s like your brain goes, “Maybe if I make everyone happy, they won’t hurt me or leave me.” This response often develops in situations where standing up for yourself wasn’t safe, so you learned to survive by being overly accommodating.
Here’s where somatic therapy steps in! It’s a type of therapy that focuses on the mind-body connection, helping you understand and release the physical sensations tied to your emotional experiences. Let’s break down how this works:
Your body has been keeping score of every stress and trauma you’ve faced. Somatic therapy helps you tune into these signals. For instance, do you feel a knot in your stomach when you agree to something you don’t want to do? That’s your body talking to you. By becoming more aware of these sensations in your body, you can start to recognize when you’re slipping into fawning mode.
Once you’re aware of your body’s signals, the next step is learning to regulate them. Think of it like training a muscle. Techniques like deep breathing, grounding exercises, and gentle movement can help calm your nervous system. Imagine taking a few deep breaths before saying yes to something – it gives you a moment to check in with yourself and decide if that yes is GENUINE or just another fawning response.
Your body holds onto trauma, creating tension and stress. Somatic therapy involves techniques that help release this stored trauma. Picture it like letting go of a heavy backpack full of bricks that you’ve been carrying around for years.
Learning to set boundaries is NECESSARY. In somatic therapy, you practice saying no in a safe environment. Over time, this helps you build the confidence to set boundaries in real life. Imagine feeling empowered to say, “I can’t take this on right now,” without guilt or fear. It’s about reclaiming your voice and needs.
So how do you know if you’re fawning? Here are some signs and behaviors to look out for:
Moving Forward
Understanding that fawning is a trauma response and not just a personality trait can actually be so liberating. It means that with the right tools and support, like somatic therapy in Los Angeles, you can start to change these patterns and reclaim your sense of self.
Your body and mind are deeply connected, so it’s no surprise that constant people-pleasing can lead to the body! Here’s how:
Understanding the toll that fawning takes on both your mind and body is a super important step toward change. The good news? There are ways to break free from this pattern, and somatic therapy can play a significant role in helping you heal.
So, what exactly is somatic therapy? In simple terms, somatic therapy is a type of therapy that focuses on the mind-body connection. It’s based on the idea that our bodies hold onto past traumas and stress, which can show up as physical symptoms or emotional distress. Somatic therapy helps you become more aware of these physical sensations – and learn how to release them.
LA is a city that thrives on connections and relationships, but it’s also a place where it’s easy to lose yourself in the chaos. Somatic therapy offers a tailored approach to healing that fits the unique challenges of LA. With a highly trained therapist and a holistic approach, you’ll find a path to healing that resonates with you.
Breaking free from fawning is about reclaiming your sense of self and learning to prioritize your OWN needs. Somatic therapy provides the tools to step off autopilot and start living authentically.
Explore somatic therapy in Los Angeles and start your journey toward healing. Contact Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC today to schedule a session.
Anxiety: When you’re always worried about keeping everyone happy, your anxiety levels can skyrocket. You might find yourself constantly on edge, overthinking every interaction, and stressing about whether you’re doing enough.
Depression: Over time, this can lead to feeling down or even depressed. It’s tough to feel joy or satisfaction when you’re always sacrificing your own happiness for others. That constant pressure can make you feel stuck and hopeless.
Low Self-Esteem: Your sense of self-worth takes a hit because you start to believe your value is only tied to how much you can give or how agreeable you are. This can make you doubt your abilities and feel like you’re never good enough.
Here are some of the key techniques used in somatic therapy that can help you break free from fawning:
Somatic therapy offers a holistic approach to healing that focuses on both the mind and body. By becoming more aware of your body’s responses and learning techniques to release stored trauma, you can start to move away from fawning behaviors and reclaim your sense of self. If you’re ready to take the next step in your healing journey, somatic therapy in Los Angeles might be just what you need.
Luckily for us, Los Angeles is already ahead of the curve when it comes to holistic health and wellness.
Hi, I’m Cheryl Groskopf, a somatic and holistic therapist in Los Angeles.
My approach goes beyond traditional talk therapy, focusing on the powerful connection between mind and body. I guide my clients toward releasing stored tension and finding holistic relief.
Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, trauma, or just feeling stuck (either in your relationship or just in general), I’m here to support your journey to a balanced and peaceful life.
Let’s work together to unlock the healing potential within you.
“The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” by Bessel van der Kolk Buy on Amazon
“Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma” by Peter A. Levine Buy on Amazon
“In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness” by Peter A. Levine Buy on Amazon
“Healing Trauma: A Pioneering Program for Restoring the Wisdom of Your Body” by Peter A. Levine Buy on Amazon
“The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation” by Stephen W. Porges Buy on Amazon
