A Trauma Therapist in Los Angeles Breaks Down How to Regulate Your Nervous System
Nervous System Regulation Tip # 1: Acknowledge It
If you needed your roof fixed, you would first need to know that there was damage. If you walked into your house and the floor was soaking wet and it appeared to be raining from the inside, you would know that you have a leak.
If you went to the ER for a broken and disentangled leg, you would have first acknowledged that there was pain (or that there was a bone sticking out, or noticed you couldn’t walk, or maybe you saw blood spewed everywhere – ok ok, I think you get the point).
But there is a purpose to my mundane & silly examples.
The same way that you noticed your roof was leaking is the same way you would know that your leg has been gnawed off. If you weren’t mindful of any of your 5 senses, how would you know you are in pain? How would you know what needs to be addressed? Let me skip ahead and just tell you – you wouldn’t. It’s the same logic for regulating an activated and frightened nervous system.
You have to know that your sympathetic nervous system is activated before you can heal it.
Don’t get me wrong – there are a ton of amazing preventative and soothing activities that the parasympathetic nervous system loves – and I list maintenance activities in Step 5.. And I am a fan of all of them (well, all the healthy ones at least). But we also have to acknowledge that everyone’s nervous system is unique. My wounds + what feels like danger may be completely different than yours.
You have to see (or hear, smell, taste, or feel) what needs to be nurtured.
You have to be aware of what needs fixin’ before you can fix it.
Acknowledgment and self-awareness really is a superpower.
Tip # 2: Remind Your Nervous System Yourself That You are Safe
The sympathetic nervous system is activated when it feels threatened. Sometimes, the threat is subconscious, which can make it difficult to identify what in the environment feels dangerous. Sometimes, this threat could be a scowl on someone’s face. It could be the way that a perfectly clean towel was thrown on the floor. This is more sensitive for people who are suffering or experienced trauma.
If you feel that your flight or flight response has been awakened, and there truly is no danger, remind and assure your body that it is safe. And that leads us to step 3.
Tip # 3: Talk to Your Nervous System
“And how the hell am I supposed to reassure my nervous system that it is safe? I can’t just talk to it…can I?”
I can confidently answer this: YOU CAN!
One of my favorite ways to regulate an overstimulated nervous system is to talk to it. Literally.
You can say it out loud or in your mind, but reassure to your nervous system that it is safe. I often say, “Hey nervous system! I see you. I feel you. I know that you are trying to keep me safe, and I appreciate you. But I will call upon you when I actually need you.”
The mind dislikes ambiguity. So when you externalize and identify a specific object (i.e. your nervous system), it’s easier for your brain to process.
Tip # 4: Stimulate Your 5 Senses
As a trauma therapist in Los Angeles, I recommend many different grounding and mindfulness exercises. But this one may be my favorite.
When I do this exercise with my clients, it is often met with some laughter and difficulty! When I ask, “Look around you and identify 5 things that you see,” that’s quite literally what I mean. I will then move on to ask 4 things that your body can physically feel, 3 things that you hear, 2 things that you smell (and if you don’t’ smell anything, pick something up and give it a big ol’ sniff!), and 1 thing you taste.
This is a very simple and effective grounding exercise. When my clients finish this exercise, I often ask them what thoughts they were focusing on – and point out that their thoughts were focused on the exercise and NOT on work, their relationships, or any other stressor.
Why does this exercise keep us grounded? Well, utilizing our 5 senses makes our body feel safe in the environment. It makes the body more aware of the environment. As children, we are constantly curious and consciously using our 5 senses to make sense of the world. As adults, we rarely check in with ourselves to truly acknowledge what our 5 senses are experiencing. It’s something that we adults, me included, take for granted. So go ahead and try it!
P.S. Another activity I like doing as an anxiety therapy in Los Angeles is a “5 senses Scavenger Hunt.” Here is an example
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- Identify something around you that is the color red
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- Find something that makes a nice sound (like a jewelry box or the light tapping on a keyboard)
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- Find something around you that is fuzzy – and feel it!
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- Look around your room and pick up something that smells nice.
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- Have a sip of water and recognize the different taste and feeling in your mouth.
Nervous System Regulation Tip # 5: Maintenance
One of the most effective ways to heal a dysregulated nervous system is maintenance. Doing a minute or two of deep breathing daily, quick meditations, grounding exercises (like the 5 senses exercise above) are great ways to stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system. It’s like a remote control that reinforces your nervous system that it’s safe and can continue relaxing. This is especially true for individuals who have experienced trauma or Complex PTSD.
When we get anxious, a common symptom is shallow breathing (and not getting enough air into your lungs). If you only practice deep breathing when you are overwhelmed and stressed, it may not be too effective because 1) you won’t know how to really do it, and 2) If you only do it when you’re stressed, your brain may start to think that this is an exercise that is associated with anxiety!
First, we want our brains to recognize and categorize these maintenance strategies as effective and healthy tools that reinforce relaxation. And that takes practice and maintenance.
